If you read the Last Getaway, you know that Elisa and I went on our Babymoon recently. The lessons were it was a step in Elisa and I finding Space in our relationship.
This blog is not about that lesson.
When I was in Estes on the Babymoon, I went on a hike to Cub Lake. It was a ridiculous morning. I got up early to head to the mountains. It snowed all night, and I was the first one in the Bear Lake parking lot.
The day before, I had broken my own rules. I only got a spike at the rental place and not snowshoes. I always get snowshoes. I have even rented them in May in case they were needed!
I saw how deep the snow was in the parking lot and turned around. This was the first time hiking, my reason for avoiding risk was my wife and son. My desire was to get up to Locke that morning. It would have been a dangerous task. The snow was too high and easily could have been lost or hurt.
I drove down to the next parking lot. This time I saw some other hikers in their Subaru. This gave me a bit of confidence to go out there and give it a shot. I got to the trail and almost immediately started falling waste high in snow. I went on for half a mile. Once I got to Alberta Falls, it was merely going to be too sketchy.
At one point in my life, I would have gone on. Accepting the stupidity and danger of my arbitrary desire. Turning back and falling a few more times resulted in me seeking a lower elevation trail. I turned to an old friend, Cub Lake.
I pulled the Jeep to the Cub Lake trailhead. I got out, looked around, and I was the only one there. It was me. Standing in the middle of what makes me feel whole. Looking around and up to the peaks. These peaks require such respect. They require you to express nothing but gratitude as you make your way up to them. That is why I was happy to be standing in the cold wind alone. I was experiencing something greater than me.
As I started the track, there were a few similar difficulties as the other trails. I kept going with some hesitation. Luckily, I was able to get on the right path after 50 yards. There were little snow and a lot of ice. I kept the spikes on most of the hike. That little crunch of metal and ice was my hiking partner. There wind going in strong now and then.
The Cub Lake hike is a few different landscapes in a short amount of time. It starts in a valley that feels harsh because of the wind. As you go, big rocks are protecting you. Then we get to the trees. Beautiful pines mixed with snow. It is the dream of an adventurer. I carried on. Talking and thinking to myself. Hiking alone is a back and forth between self-examination and environment analyzation. I lookout for the rock in my path and then go back to thinking how my Ego is destroying me. It is such a beautiful process.
This is what Space does to us as individuals. We start to see what is around us and inside us. I have the opportunity to see the details of the tree as I walk by. The smell and colors taking over. I also think about myself. I think about past interactions and moments. It is pointless to think you can keep your mind clear of struggles that you will keep facing after the hike. It is healthier to not try and think about the mountains when you are in the mountains. When you are in the mountains, you can finally believe clearly about yourself. You can see why you hurt. It is time to face the uncomfortable truth.
Seeking Space is not about hiding from what your mind is going through. In a way, the real adventure is dealing with ourselves. Getting to the core of what we need. I wish it was possible to save myself from the stress of all those hikes I was getting frustrated with myself for thinking about work or personal struggles. You cannot just go away and feel perfect. You go out to see yourself clearly.
The mountains give me physical and mental Space to face myself. Space is to step back so we can grow and heal.
This hike did a lot for me. Cub Lake is beautiful. It was fun to be alone and explore in the winter. I appreciated the harsh wind, snow, and ice-making my day more difficult. The hot coffee in my cantine was sipped with more appreciation. For all of that, I am thankful. Thankful for the Space the mountains provide.